Now that's what I call a segueway...

Speaking of honesty, whaddya think of the new digs?

Honesty is the Best Policy?

The topic of honesty has been coming up lately, both in real life and online (see Dez's take on it here), so here's my two cents. On my end, I try to be as honest as possible, but that doesn't mean I don't occasionally stray from the truth (within reason).

We're taught at a young age that Honesty is the Best Policy, but as we get older, that Policy seems to get more and more restricted. Most of us tell little white lies all the time (usually to spare others or ourselves unnecessary pain), while others turn lying into a full-contact sport. Sometimes people can feel that being honest unburdens them with any associated guilt, even though this usually means that they've heaped it upon another person.

But worse still are those people who actually stick to this Honesty Policy to the letter. Some people use the Honesty Clause to justify anything that comes out of their piehole, turning Honesty into a weapon. Just because you really think something, being honest about it doesn't give you the right to attack people with it. For an exaggerated vision of this, rent Liar Liar starring Jim Carrey (and stay for the bloopers at the end).

Yes, I'm slightly overweight. Yes, I'm undisciplined. Yes, I can use poor judgement at times. Just keep your unedited honest opinions to yourself until I ask for them, and even then, use some common sense when delivering them. And this doesn't only apply to negative feedback. There is also a problem with being too honest about your positive feelings/thoughts. It's always a judgement call, so exercise your judgement.

I've been faced with cases like Dez's, dealing with a friend with a questionable haircut. If the person comes to me and asks "What do you think?", unless I'm certain that they're not looking for positive feedback, I'll try to stay on the cautious side and try to find something positive to say about it ("Er... that's quite a new look for you! It'll take some getting used to..."). Then I'll see how my friend reacts to this before I tell her she looks like she's been attacked by a hoard of wild boars.

I've found that when it comes to being honest with your friends, there are always degrees to consider. If it's a minor point, maybe you can be semi-honest and provide more support to your friend than blunty honesty. Sometimes it's better to save your blunt honest for more serious issues (like personal safety).

There's also an important distinction to make here between Honesty and Truth. Just because someone gives you their honest opinion about something, that doesn't mean it has any value. It's always important to consider the source of this opinion when assigning its value.

Blackout Edition

Since the Sympatico servers are not back up and running yet (due to the blackout plaguing parts of North America), here's my temporary solution to my design problem.

Some of the graphics may not work, but you don't come here for the pretty pictures, do ya?

Blackout Blues

Although Montreal has stayed relatively unscathed by the blackout (although I did lose power for a couple of hours yesterday), I guess the server that has the blog's style sheet must be in Ontario somewhere.

You're all seeing me in my knickers! Shield your eyes!

Barenaked Blog

OOOoooh... In trying to discover when the Barenaked Ladies will be back in town (or at least nearby), I discovered that they have a blog!

I saw BNL a couple of years ago when they played the Molson Centre (now the Bell Centre) and it was a great show. I have a few bootleg MP3s of theirs and the improv that goes on at these shows is unreal.

Yeah yeah... I realize this makes me a bit of a barenaked groupie. So sue me!

Parallel lives and Electricity

I'm not sure why this is, but Nick and I seem to be living similar lives. I read his blog and think "Oh yeah... I had something like that happen to me too."

This almost-incident took place many moons ago in my first apartment in Montreal (in Dorval). In those days, I had a pet turtle I kept in a tank. I have since released the poor creature to the wild. It will no doubt appear when I least expect it, mutated to the size of a jumbo jet, and seeking to consume me whole whilst I calmy snorkle the barrier reef.

But I digress.

I was chatting on the phone with a friend, we hung up, and then I placed the phone on the edge of the tank. Of course, as I walked by the tank, the phone was knocked into the water and settled gracefully to the bottom.

Without thinking, I plunged my hand into the murky depths to retrieve the phone and the insanity of what I was doing hit me. I thought "If someone calls me now, I'll be electrocuted."

I successfully removed the phone without a problem, but this is just typical of the types of things I am wont to do. As a friend once remarked "I'm amazed nothing has killed you yet!"

As am I.

Resounding Chamber

Since I've put on a bit of weight, my snoring has gotten worse. I know how painful it is to be forced to listen to this nasal operatic: there have been many Hotel rooms during family vacations that have had their wallpaper ripped down during my Dad's rumbling inhalations. I have even woken myself up with my own snoring.

Like father, like son, I guess.

What's worse is that my snoring starts almost immediately. My various bed-partners over the years have reported that the rumbling can start scant minutes after I have kissed her goodnight and closed my eyes. I have long sinced learned not to awaken the next morning and exclaim "I slept like a stone! What a good night's sleep." A sound beating usually follows, either by pillow or by brow.

Oh... and quoting the Discovery channel on how snoring is an evolutionary perk because it kept wild animals away from your ancestral caveman's family will NOT win you any ground. I've tried it. Several times. No go.

There are a variety of ways to interupt the cacophony, including:

The Shoulder Shake: place one hand on the up-turned shoulder blade and shake slightly until the offending noise ceases. You'll get about 2 minutes of silence to get to sleep before the earthquake starts again.

Poking in the ribs: when the Shoulder Shake doesn't work, it's time to get physical. This will awaken the subject more completely, and you might get some mumbled cursing, but you'll get about 5 minutes of silence. You can expect an argument in the morning punctuated by the defensive "I can't be that bad". Mental Note: using that line never gains you any ground in an argument.

Pinching the nose for a second: Drew reports that she very nearly kicked me out of her house in my knickers when I tried this on her. An ex-live-with girlfriend used to do this with me and she always said it was the most effective because I didn't wake up and the snoring abated for longer. Then again, I was convinced at one point that this girlfriend was trying to kill me in my sleep, so maybe her character reference isn't the best.

Now there are all sorts of products on the market that are supposed to silence the snorerer (I like the Golden Silencer myself... Very James Bondish). And I think there's some kind of surgery that muffles the engine, but I don't know anybody who has actually had it. Would it be covered by medicare? If not, I'd rather spend the money to straighten my teeth.

I know, I know... I'm a bevy of imperfections. It's part of my charm.

So until we figure out someway to kill the sleeping roars (and I've tried a variety of ways, believe me), please buy some earplugs and be patient with us. We take no pleasure in knowing we've kept you up half the night, but warning us "Don't you DARE snore tonight" is just setting us up for the fall.

"I don't know how he does it, but he just does."

So I just spent the last five days on a camping trip in Ontario and I loved it! The camp ground had a pool, a firepit, a beach, a man-made lake, and lots of open space. I spent most of the days just relaxing with friends, attending workshops, or in the water. The beach was great, but the lake had snapping turtles in it so everyonce in a while, you'd feel something very solid and round attacking your legs. Swimmers were often heard to yelp suddenly and thrash about for a few seconds before moving on to another spot.

Needless to say, I didn't strip down and skinny dip. No need to offer visible bait to some beasty's snapping maw. In the lake, I mean.

Once of the highlights of the weekend was a challenge laid before all of us men. There were to be a series of tests to determine our prowess as men, as hunters, as the providers of our tribe. These tests included a race across the lake, spear-tossing, arm wrestling, and bagging a mate.

That's right... one of the tests involved going into the main campsite and bringing back a girl. We could use any means necessary to entice this lady to accompany us, but it had to be someone we didn't know, who didn't know us, and we couldn't explain why she had to come. The first three men to bring back their ladies received points, but if you couldn't get back quickly enough, there was a way to still get points.

So I tore off into the campsite looking for someone to fit the bill. Unfortunately, many of the girls were already spoken for and I knew the others, so I had to go deeper into the campground. There I spotted a comely lass and very politely requested her presence. Her generousity knew no bounds and she agreed.

We were then sprinting across the beach to the designated area. I could see that most of the men had already returned when I suddenly remembered the other condition that would secure me at least 10 points in this contest. I turned to my companion and said "By the way, it would really help me if you were naked by the time we got to where we're going."

"Okay... no problem!" she replied and proceeded to remove her skirt and, with my help, she removed her top. We sprinted the rest of the way and crossed the finish line.

Once the judges had tallied up all the points, the ladies were released from their duties and sent on their way. I kissed my thank yous to my lassie and promised to find her later. She smiled and made her way back to the campsite.

I didn't end up winning the Manly Contest, but I walked away proud with my 10 points. Along with the Men's Rituals that we participated in, which reminded us that we were men and allowed us to contemplated what that really meant, there was a battle between the current Stag King and his usurper. It started at one end of the lake and finished at the other end. As the two contendors fought, the rest of the tribe of men came out of the forest and followed them as they fought, chanting and witnessing.

Finally, when the champion rose from the ground, we carried him a-ways and the women rushed forward to greet the new Stag King. He gave us a stirring speech about our responsibilities as men in our own communities, which gave me a bit to think about later on (and I'm still pondering).

I had plenty of other interesting and spiritual experiences over this five-day pagan festival known as the Kaleidoscope Gathering, but you'll just have to ask me about them the next time you see me.

Gotta love those pagans... never a dull moment.

Has the Matrix taught us nothing?

My love of gadgetry and my disdain of housework has found a new love: Roomba: the robot that cleans.

IT MUST BE MINE!

Summer Hiatus

I'm finding that with the summer sun and all this time on my hands, I'm finding less and less to blog about. Oh, I'll exclaim every couple of days "I'm blogging that!", but when I get home I can't remember the juicy bit of insight I captured earlier that day. I need to carry a notepad about with me.

Thanks to the generousity of Anastasia, I was able to spend a couple of days in the Laurentians and spend some quality time with the pine trees. We collected some crabapples and then found a cluster of horses to feed them to. I always forget how enormous those beasts are! Beautiful creatures though...

They each had distinct personalities. One of them followed us around constantly once he saw we had the apples. Another was more aloof and waited for us to appoach. Anastasia warned me of another who was a bit of a bully and might try to headbutt me if I didn't do as he expected. I avoided that one.

We then continued on through the woods, enjoying the quiet and serenity of it all. We found some rapids (which I very nearly took a suddenly dive into unexpectedly. Damn slippery rocks...) and then made our way back home.

That night we went to see Pirates of the Caribbean (with Johnny Dep). If you want to see a swashbuckling romp, go see it on the big screen. It's fun, funny, great SFX, and the battle scenes (both sword and ship) are definitely worth the price of admission.

Anyhoo... I'll be blogging a bit less nowadays, but I hope you'll stayed tuned. Have a good summer!