Monday, May 31, 2004

The Evil Gingivitis

The third annual Superhero Party was held at Ceridwen and Septimus' place on Saturday night. I was determined to make this party since I had to bail on it for the last two years.

The people who attend these parties are extremely creative and talented and the costumes they come up with are unreal (Year 1, Year 2). Last year, I had thought of coming as Super Grover, but I couldn't make the party (or the costume) in the end.

So this year, I decided to attend the party as Listerine: The Action Hero for your Gums. I spent all week trying to put this costume together and I almost gave up in the end. I'm a university edumacated man and my costume looked like it had been put together by a high school student who was hopped up on valium, vodka, and cough syrup. Ceridwen encouraged me to bring my shambled costume to the party and she would see what she could do.

But thanks to three brilliant superheroes (the Bowler, the Flash, and Rogue), we were able to put the costume together. It wasn't exactly what I had imagined, but it was close enough. Let's just say the idea was better than the execution.

I'm not very good with costumes, in general. My finest moment in designing a costume was when I went dressed as a midget. I stood about three feet high and I was holding an enormous sack (that covered the rest of my body as I walked on my hands). Great illusion, but the costume made socializing difficult.

But in the end, the party was great fun and I won the prize for silliest costume (a Batman toothbrush). The costume didn't not survive the evening, but that's okay. I'll come up with something better next year.

Friday, May 28, 2004

Off Topic Blog

Anybody know anybody getting married in June in the Montreal area? If so, email me please. I've got a project idea, but I need a wedding to be able to do it.

Drop me a line at jdave[at]

Thursday, May 27, 2004


Last night, over pints, I distinctly remember saying "I'm going to blog about THAT tomorrow."

Now, for the life of me, I can't remember what I was talking about.

It's too bad... it would've been good.

Tuesday, May 25, 2004

You wouldn't like Hector when he's angry

I haven't seen Troy yet, but from what people tell me, today's Penny Arcade strip is pretty accurate.

I haven't read the epic story behind Troy in decades and I don't think I will until I decide if I'm going to see the movie or not. Apparently, the more ignorant you are, the more you'll like the movie.

Nice rubber armour, Braaaaaaaaaad.

Monday, May 24, 2004

I knew he wasn't really dead!

Andy Kaufman is back! And he's got a blog (thanks be to Steve).

Wow! My question is: where is this Bunny Ranch located exactly. I need to add it to my summer vacation plans...
Rainy Days

It's been windy the last few days (I must get my kite fixed!), but the rain that was promised over the weekend has fallen on today. It's cold, wet, and rainy out there.

Even though it's the wrong time of year, the weather has brought me memories of Apple Day. Back in the days when I was a young'un living in Quebec city, I was a member of the St. Vincent troup of the Wolf Cubs (and Scouts later). As I grew older, I eventually rejoined the scouting movement as a leader, working with groups in Quebec city and Sherbrooke (during my university days). I had continued to volunteer in the Scouting movement when I came to Montreal, but I had to quit due to an increasingly conflicting schedule.

Back in Quebec city, every October, we had a traditional fund raiser called Apple Day. All the local Wolf Cubs and Scouts would congregate at Trinity church to polish the apples and then be sent off with a parent to sell them at a local mall (for a quarter each).

It was mostly fun, but sometimes tedious. It was interesting and fun to spend the day (a Saturday, usually) with your buddies in a new place, doing something different. It was usually a cold, rainy Saturday in October, the inside of the church hall smelled damp. We spent the day polishing apples, eating a few when the leaders weren't looking. The apples were always tart and juicy. For lunch, we always had hot dogs and a keg of orange drink (from the local McDonalds).

When we weren't out selling or inside polishing, we would play games or explore the grounds. We were always daring each other to pull the rope that would ring the church bells, knowing full-well we'd get the wrath of our Akela brought down upon us if we actually did it.

Sure... The money/selling side of it has always left a bad taste in my mouth, but it's a necessary part of running a group like this. To be able to have interesting activities and go on camping trips, you need extra funds.

I think I'll enjoy the morning sitting on the back balcony, drinking tea and chewing on an apple.

Wednesday, May 19, 2004

Word of Mouth

Well... it looks like I won't be getting that contract after all. A few people reminded me of a few incidents, gave good advice, and I returned with a counter-offer. Unofficially, they're still considering it, but my spies tell me that they're looking for someone else.

I happen to know who that someone else might be and if they pick her, I don't mind losing it to her. She's a fine writer, a great person, and she needs the work more than I do. So unless something else comes in, it looks like I'll be having the summer off mostly. Suits me fine.

So allow me to introduce you to my latest project that promises to keep me busy over the next month: Word of Mouth Productions.

Zimmerman and I have put this show together for the Fringe, but we still want to take it on the road. We've already done this show in the Ottawa Festival (and we're going back next year), but we're hoping to put together a few other shows and take them to folk and storytelling festivals all over the globe. We're also hoping we can take our storytelling shows to schools.

Personally, I think Jack Tales would go over great in Ireland, but I may be biased.

Tuesday, May 18, 2004

Bob Barker had it Easy

Being a freelancer means that I'm always having to evaluate new contracts as they come in. I don't know if it's someting about being a writer, but knowing how much you can charge for a project is always tricky. There's always a level of guilt involved somewhere along the way; it feels weird to be paid for writing. I got over that hurdle long ago, but the modicrum of guilt always hangs back there.

I just got an offer from a new potential client and it's a bit lower than I had hoped. Actually, it falls below the minimum rate I would've accepted. The problem is that I would really like to work on that project for a plethora of reasons, but I'm afraid it might be a bad business decision.

If I take this contract, I may not be able to pursue anything more profitable with my company for the next eight months (I'd have to work on it personally for the length of the contract). But I'd really love to work on it...

Do I take the fabulous car, yacht, and the family of pure-bred dalmations, or do I risk it all for what's behind Door Number Three. Damn you Bob Barker, with your manicured chrome dome, thin microphone, and Barker Beauties!

Argh. I'm trapped between my writing needs and my capitalist needs (the company's gotta make a profit!). Yeah, yeah... I know. It's a happy problem to have, but it's a problem none the less. Any thoughts?

Monday, May 17, 2004

Bovine Photography

So Zimmerman, Esmerita, and I went down to McGill University to find some statues to post with. These shots will be used as publicity photos to promote our show in the Fringe Festival (with our new storytelling company Word of Mouth Productions). I'm sorry to say that the statues in Montreal are not very gigantic. It must have something to do with our humbleness in historical matters.

We posed for a few shots with what we called "The Margarine People" on McGill College and I was suprised to realize that that statue isn't solid. It's a hollowed-out fiberglass shell.

Then we headed down to McGill to pose with James McGill himself as well as some semi-nekkid folks holding up some kind of bowl (we probably won't use those).

Then Zimmerman suggested we pose with the slightly larger-than-life bovine that is parked in front of the Fine Arts Museum. Considering that our show focusses on Jack Tales, and the most famous Jack tale involves a cow traded for some magic beans, this sounded promising.

Preparing for the Fringe Festival takes alot of preparation and footwork, but we're supported very well by the organizers. I hope the Fringe show (which takes place in less than a month!) goes over well.

Wednesday, May 12, 2004

RedBun! RedBun!

Ms. Carotte finds the weirdest things on the 'Net. My latest distraction has been watching condensed versions of movies that have also been bunnified.

So for your viewing pleasure, I invite you to view:

The 30-second Exorcist
The 30-second Shining

By the way, any ideas on giant statues in Montreal?

Tuesday, May 11, 2004

Hunting for Giants in Montreal

For our press releases, we need to take some striking B&W shots of Zimmerman and myself to promote our show in the Montreal Fringe Festival (website to come soon).

We brainstormed last night and thought it would be fun if we posed at the feet of a giant statue, making it look like we found a giant just like Jack did in the stories we're telling.

So I'll be spending this week looking for giants. Does anyone have any suggestions on where to look?

Also, we should come up with some publicity stunts to promote our show. Some of the ideas we've had were to hang beanstalks around the site with our flyers attached, have one of us walk around campus with a bloody (plastic) sword and a sack filled with giant heads, or making a giant papier mache shoe and leaving it in strategic places with flyers about the show.

You people, my beloved readers, are creative people. Any other suggestions?

Monday, May 10, 2004

Rising to New Challenges

Note: I had written an earlier version of this blog entry and published it by accident. I decided it was a bit too explicit, so I wanted to rework it.

When you hook up with someone new, she'll come with a whole new set of challenges that you'll have to learn how to deal with. Dating in your 20s is relatively issue-free since you're experience with the adult world has been mostly sheltered due to our studies (yeah, yeah... exceptions to every generalization, blahblahblah. This has been my experience, okay?).

The older we get, the more stuff we accumulate and lug around (both physical and psychologiical), and your mate is just going to have to deal with it. It can be just about anything from supporting a child, to persistent exes, to unresolved parental issues, etc.

Being with Ms. Carrotte means that I have to deal with low blood sugar levels, occasional bouts of catatonia, and seizures (like what happened on Friday morning which resulted in me phoning 911 while her skin turned blue, blood poured our from her clamped jaws, dealing with paramedics, and riding in the ambulance).

I imagine that this may mean I'll be seeing the hospital hallways a bit more than I'd like, but hey... I'm in love with the girl and baggage is baggage. I'm ready to take it on if it means I get to keep her with me for one more day.

Tuesday, May 04, 2004

Unspoken Conversation

In case you haven't noticed, Ms. Carrotte has arrived in Montreal and as I suspected, she's turned my life upside down in a good way. Spring is officially here... I'm in love.

And it's my birthday today. I'm the grand old age of 35 and still alive. Life is good (see above paragraph). I've gotten calls from a few friends and my parents. Drew even showed up this morning to decorate the front of my balcony with balloons and streamers. Her boy wanted to give me my present before he went off to school. Too cute.

On Saturday, after an evening of fine music, finer food, and extremely fine company, Ms. Carrote, Proust, Alberta, and myself headed to my place for a night cap on the balcony. I had some leftover Mango Mead and some Talisker Scotch to finish off the night (thanks be to Kensington).

Ms. Carotte and I had noticed some heavy flirting going down between Proust and Alberta, but it looked like the Scotch was helping to smooth everything out. Alberta was sleeping on my futon couch and it seemed like she was inviting Proust to share it with her, the lucky dawg.

While Alberta was distracted, I looked over to Proust and we had the following silent conversation using only facial expressions and gestures. This goes back to an earlier post about The Look that only two friends can share.

H: Arches left eyebrow.

P: Arches both eyebrows and grins.

H: Arches left eyebrow and holds hand close to head, forming a small square with fingers.

P: Lowers eyes, shakes head.

H: Holding fingers in square formation, gestures towards bedroom

P: Grins and nods head.

Get it?

A great weekend leading up to a great birthday. If you have the time, call me to wish me a happy b-day. I would love to hear from you today.