Flabio goes Dating: Part I
Mental note: Lap Dancers and Laplanders are not terms that can be used synonymously.
However, both types of people have a strong right-hook.
Ow.
Friday, February 28, 2003
The Horrors of Pickle Juice
Drew has been complaining that Tales has been a bit dry lately, so I want to share this moment from my past with you.
Every once in a while, I have a day where everything goes wrong. The kind of day that just wasn't worth chewing through the ropes in the morning. We've all had them. It the kind of day when dogs choose you over the hydrant.
But sometimes the amount of stuff that goes wrong can reach ridiculous levels, causing me to laugh hysterically instead of sob uncontrolably. This was one of those days.
I was bopping around town with my girlfriend Nathalia (not her actual name) and we just decided to pop into the Harvey's down on Peel for a quick bite before heading off somewhere else.
I placed an order for a burger with bacon and cheese with fries and a Coke. I wasn't really paying attention when they put the toppings on it, but when I got back to my table, I took a bite and realized there was no bacon or cheese in it. "Just another chapter in this rotten day," I commented to Nathalia before I got up to change the burger.
"I ordered a bacon/cheese burger. There's no bacon or cheese in this. Can you replace it please?" The Harvey drones did so and re-did the toppings. Again, I must not have been paying attention because they put pickles on the burger. I hate pickles.
"I didn't want pickles on this" I pointed to the burger with a section bitten out of it. "Now there's pickle juice everywhere. Can you give me a fresh one?" They did, although the burger clerk was starting to smirk.
By the time I get back to my table. Nathalia is starting to giggle at my situation. "Fucking day," I mumbled as I started to chow down on the burger. I took a sip of the drink, but there was something wrong. "Nathalia... Try this. Is it Coke?" She took a sip, rolled it on her tongue and pondered the carbonated goodness for a moment. "No," she replied. "It's Root Beer."
I went back to the counter, and grinning in a slightly annoyed way, I pointed to the drink. "I ordered Coke. This is Root Beer. Can you change it please?" They did, although the patty-flippers started to look interested in the unfolding drama.
I sat back at my table. By now, Nathalia had polished off her meal and was just waiting for the next gremlin to take a stab at my day. She didn't have to wait long. I took a long drag on the Coke and rolled my eyes.
"This Coke is warm," I said to the Harvey's drone, much to Nathalia's amusement as her laughter filled the room."Can you put some ice in it please?"
When I finally get back to my table with everything I need, the burger was half done, the fries were cold (I wasn't going to tempt Fate again, thank you). I managed to consume it all admist Nathalia's grinning and poking in my shoulder. Feeling a certain need, I announced that I would return from the Little Calaberos room presently. "Watch this. With my luck, there'll be no toilet paper." Nathalia laughed as I walk away.
I know you're going to think I made this up, but I really didn't think to check first. It's only after I've done my business that I noticed that there is indeed no toilet paper.
Nathalia burst out laughing when she heard a muffled cry of "Fucking Day!" from the bathroom and continued as I appeared, walking ungainly to the Harvey's drones, gritting my teeth as I hissed my request for more toilet paper.
We went home after that, not wanting to tempt Fate any further. The Fates were busy enough that day, methinks.
Drew has been complaining that Tales has been a bit dry lately, so I want to share this moment from my past with you.
Every once in a while, I have a day where everything goes wrong. The kind of day that just wasn't worth chewing through the ropes in the morning. We've all had them. It the kind of day when dogs choose you over the hydrant.
But sometimes the amount of stuff that goes wrong can reach ridiculous levels, causing me to laugh hysterically instead of sob uncontrolably. This was one of those days.
I was bopping around town with my girlfriend Nathalia (not her actual name) and we just decided to pop into the Harvey's down on Peel for a quick bite before heading off somewhere else.
I placed an order for a burger with bacon and cheese with fries and a Coke. I wasn't really paying attention when they put the toppings on it, but when I got back to my table, I took a bite and realized there was no bacon or cheese in it. "Just another chapter in this rotten day," I commented to Nathalia before I got up to change the burger.
"I ordered a bacon/cheese burger. There's no bacon or cheese in this. Can you replace it please?" The Harvey drones did so and re-did the toppings. Again, I must not have been paying attention because they put pickles on the burger. I hate pickles.
"I didn't want pickles on this" I pointed to the burger with a section bitten out of it. "Now there's pickle juice everywhere. Can you give me a fresh one?" They did, although the burger clerk was starting to smirk.
By the time I get back to my table. Nathalia is starting to giggle at my situation. "Fucking day," I mumbled as I started to chow down on the burger. I took a sip of the drink, but there was something wrong. "Nathalia... Try this. Is it Coke?" She took a sip, rolled it on her tongue and pondered the carbonated goodness for a moment. "No," she replied. "It's Root Beer."
I went back to the counter, and grinning in a slightly annoyed way, I pointed to the drink. "I ordered Coke. This is Root Beer. Can you change it please?" They did, although the patty-flippers started to look interested in the unfolding drama.
I sat back at my table. By now, Nathalia had polished off her meal and was just waiting for the next gremlin to take a stab at my day. She didn't have to wait long. I took a long drag on the Coke and rolled my eyes.
"This Coke is warm," I said to the Harvey's drone, much to Nathalia's amusement as her laughter filled the room."Can you put some ice in it please?"
When I finally get back to my table with everything I need, the burger was half done, the fries were cold (I wasn't going to tempt Fate again, thank you). I managed to consume it all admist Nathalia's grinning and poking in my shoulder. Feeling a certain need, I announced that I would return from the Little Calaberos room presently. "Watch this. With my luck, there'll be no toilet paper." Nathalia laughed as I walk away.
I know you're going to think I made this up, but I really didn't think to check first. It's only after I've done my business that I noticed that there is indeed no toilet paper.
Nathalia burst out laughing when she heard a muffled cry of "Fucking Day!" from the bathroom and continued as I appeared, walking ungainly to the Harvey's drones, gritting my teeth as I hissed my request for more toilet paper.
We went home after that, not wanting to tempt Fate any further. The Fates were busy enough that day, methinks.
Thursday, February 27, 2003
Comments are down
Haloscan's been having problems with its commenting system since Sunday, so my commenting system has seemingly disappeared into the ether. Drat.
Hopefully, they'll work the thing out soon. I really don't want to have to change the commenting system again.
In other news, Drew's back from her Florida sojourn. Yay!
Haloscan's been having problems with its commenting system since Sunday, so my commenting system has seemingly disappeared into the ether. Drat.
Hopefully, they'll work the thing out soon. I really don't want to have to change the commenting system again.
In other news, Drew's back from her Florida sojourn. Yay!
Wednesday, February 26, 2003
Generational Supermen
How cool is this: Christopher Reeve as a guest star on Smallville. I won't spoil the episode for you, but I wonder how weird it must've been for Reeve to take the stage with the modern incarnation of Clark Kent.
And then for Tom Welling, I wonder how he felt meeting the actor who personifies Superman for anyone who lived through the 70s and 80s.
Adam West should make an appearance in one of the Batman movies.
How cool is this: Christopher Reeve as a guest star on Smallville. I won't spoil the episode for you, but I wonder how weird it must've been for Reeve to take the stage with the modern incarnation of Clark Kent.
And then for Tom Welling, I wonder how he felt meeting the actor who personifies Superman for anyone who lived through the 70s and 80s.
Adam West should make an appearance in one of the Batman movies.
Tuesday, February 25, 2003
Books on the Floor
My love of books has once again translated into books being piled up upon each other and strewn out on the floor. Therefore, since Drew was kind enough to let me have use of her wheels while she was away, I hopped off to Ikea last night and picked up a shelving unit.
What I wanted to get was this high bookcase unit, but I was afraid I wouldn't be able to get it into the truck safely (Drew filled my head with all sorts of dire consequences if anything were to go awry with the truck during her absence).
So I settled for a smaller version of that bookcase (about the half the size). When I brought the bookcase home, I realized I might have to do some creative rearranging to get it to fit. If I move the altar into the bedroom, the new bookcase should fit fine in the living room.
Sometimes I feel cramped in my apartment and I wish I had my dreamhouse. Hells Bells... I always wish I had my dreamhouse.
My love of books has once again translated into books being piled up upon each other and strewn out on the floor. Therefore, since Drew was kind enough to let me have use of her wheels while she was away, I hopped off to Ikea last night and picked up a shelving unit.
What I wanted to get was this high bookcase unit, but I was afraid I wouldn't be able to get it into the truck safely (Drew filled my head with all sorts of dire consequences if anything were to go awry with the truck during her absence).
So I settled for a smaller version of that bookcase (about the half the size). When I brought the bookcase home, I realized I might have to do some creative rearranging to get it to fit. If I move the altar into the bedroom, the new bookcase should fit fine in the living room.
Sometimes I feel cramped in my apartment and I wish I had my dreamhouse. Hells Bells... I always wish I had my dreamhouse.
Monday, February 24, 2003
In Development
No worries... I won't be writing a longish report on the four-day weekend I spent at the 25th Annual Toronto Storytelling Festival. Suffice it to say that I had a fantastic time and my telling sets went without a hitch and were very well received.
What I will say is that this festival has left me feeling inspired.
I've been working on my storytelling craft for the past six years, but I decided to focus on it in this past year. This decision has been productive and fruitful. It has allowed me to produce a CD of my own, organize a local festival, attend other festivals, learn more stories, and improve the ones I already know. It has also made me available for more gigs, which is an experience in of itself.
My decision to focus on storytelling meant that I had to drop my long-standing passion for the theatre. Since the theatre life tends to be all-consuming, there was just no way I could juggle both. But truth be told, the theatre stage was starting to lose its lustre in its latter years. Although I enjoyed the process, working with the other actors, and finally being beneath the lights, the adrenaline rush just wasn't there anymore.
My first reaction to this was to drop acting and move into directing. I really did enjoy that and the plays I directed were well-received. But if I thought acting was time-consuming, directing was life-cosuming. Satisfying, but draining.
Being a storyteller, I can bring more of myself to a performance, allowing for more of a personal connection to my audience. I don't have lines to stick to or blocking to follow. And the adrenaline rush is back (and how).
But there's also a magic in transporting my listeners to another time, another place, which for many, they have not done since they were children. Somewhere along the telling of it, people's eyes begin to light up as they suddenly realize where the tale is going. And when the tale ends the way they expected, a child-like glee and satisfaction fills their face.
They aren't disappointed that the story ended the way they predicted. They are elated that the villains got their come-uppances and the heroes rode off into the sunset. As a storyteller, being able to see that in their faces, is the most rewarding part of the performance.
So yes, the Toronto festival has left me feeling inspired. Being a storyteller is the right path for me and I have so much farther to go along this path. I hope you all get to share this road with me.
No worries... I won't be writing a longish report on the four-day weekend I spent at the 25th Annual Toronto Storytelling Festival. Suffice it to say that I had a fantastic time and my telling sets went without a hitch and were very well received.
What I will say is that this festival has left me feeling inspired.
I've been working on my storytelling craft for the past six years, but I decided to focus on it in this past year. This decision has been productive and fruitful. It has allowed me to produce a CD of my own, organize a local festival, attend other festivals, learn more stories, and improve the ones I already know. It has also made me available for more gigs, which is an experience in of itself.
My decision to focus on storytelling meant that I had to drop my long-standing passion for the theatre. Since the theatre life tends to be all-consuming, there was just no way I could juggle both. But truth be told, the theatre stage was starting to lose its lustre in its latter years. Although I enjoyed the process, working with the other actors, and finally being beneath the lights, the adrenaline rush just wasn't there anymore.
My first reaction to this was to drop acting and move into directing. I really did enjoy that and the plays I directed were well-received. But if I thought acting was time-consuming, directing was life-cosuming. Satisfying, but draining.
Being a storyteller, I can bring more of myself to a performance, allowing for more of a personal connection to my audience. I don't have lines to stick to or blocking to follow. And the adrenaline rush is back (and how).
But there's also a magic in transporting my listeners to another time, another place, which for many, they have not done since they were children. Somewhere along the telling of it, people's eyes begin to light up as they suddenly realize where the tale is going. And when the tale ends the way they expected, a child-like glee and satisfaction fills their face.
They aren't disappointed that the story ended the way they predicted. They are elated that the villains got their come-uppances and the heroes rode off into the sunset. As a storyteller, being able to see that in their faces, is the most rewarding part of the performance.
So yes, the Toronto festival has left me feeling inspired. Being a storyteller is the right path for me and I have so much farther to go along this path. I hope you all get to share this road with me.
Friday, February 21, 2003
Mysterious Pop-Ups
A weird thing has happened to this blog today. When I view the blog, pop-up ads start appearing. This is new and it's certainly not something I instituted. Have I been hacked or does it have something to do with the Google-Pyra take-over?
I've got through my Template, but I can't find any part of it that would cause these pop-ups to occur. Can someone do a View Source on this page and find the bit of code that is causing this to happen.
Argh. I hate pop-up ads. If this is a Blogger thing now, I'll be moving this site to somewhere else.
Update: Okay, I found the spot of code that seems to be causing the ads, but it's not part of my original Blogger template. So somehow it's getting added by someone else. I suspect it's the following line that's causing the ads to appear: http://pagead.googlesyndication.com/ca/show_ads.js. I sure didn't put this here, so where did it come from?
I've contacted Pyra about this and hopefully they can fix the problem or explain why it's happening. I checked a few other blog site and it doesn't seem to be happening to them (yet). I noticed that other blogspot blogs were winking in and out of accessibility this morning, so it might be related.
A weird thing has happened to this blog today. When I view the blog, pop-up ads start appearing. This is new and it's certainly not something I instituted. Have I been hacked or does it have something to do with the Google-Pyra take-over?
I've got through my Template, but I can't find any part of it that would cause these pop-ups to occur. Can someone do a View Source on this page and find the bit of code that is causing this to happen.
Argh. I hate pop-up ads. If this is a Blogger thing now, I'll be moving this site to somewhere else.
Update: Okay, I found the spot of code that seems to be causing the ads, but it's not part of my original Blogger template. So somehow it's getting added by someone else. I suspect it's the following line that's causing the ads to appear: http://pagead.googlesyndication.com/ca/show_ads.js. I sure didn't put this here, so where did it come from?
I've contacted Pyra about this and hopefully they can fix the problem or explain why it's happening. I checked a few other blog site and it doesn't seem to be happening to them (yet). I noticed that other blogspot blogs were winking in and out of accessibility this morning, so it might be related.
Thursday, February 20, 2003
Echo Effect
Anastasia and I were riding the escalators in Lucien-L'Allier metro when she looked up, admiring the brickwork and realizing how deep below the street level we actually were.
"Where are we anyways?" she craned her neck. "The Mines of Moria?"
In a deep, resounding voice, I boomed out "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!" That line sounds great, rebounding and echoing in that place. You should give it a try sometime (if you need an occasion, try April Fool's Day).
Gandalf the Metro Attendant
"YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!"
"Wha--? But I've got a metro pass!"
"What? Oh... Then go ahead. *pointing* YOU!"
"Me?"
"Yes you! YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!"
"But I have exact change!"
"Dammit! I hate this job..."
Anastasia and I were riding the escalators in Lucien-L'Allier metro when she looked up, admiring the brickwork and realizing how deep below the street level we actually were.
"Where are we anyways?" she craned her neck. "The Mines of Moria?"
In a deep, resounding voice, I boomed out "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!" That line sounds great, rebounding and echoing in that place. You should give it a try sometime (if you need an occasion, try April Fool's Day).
Gandalf the Metro Attendant
"YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!"
"Wha--? But I've got a metro pass!"
"What? Oh... Then go ahead. *pointing* YOU!"
"Me?"
"Yes you! YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!"
"But I have exact change!"
"Dammit! I hate this job..."
Wednesday, February 19, 2003
PQ Boobery
I was listening to CBC radio this morning (the loyal Canadian that I am) and I heard that some group is demanding an apology from Bernie Landry for insensitive comments he made in a private meeting about child hunger in Québec. I'm trying to find a link to this story, but I haven't found it yet.
He was quoted as saying something like:
"I don't understand why children are going to school hungry. Birds have tiny brains and somehow they manage to feed their offspring properly."
Apparently, our fine-feathered friends have more in common with PQ leaders than previously believed.
I was listening to CBC radio this morning (the loyal Canadian that I am) and I heard that some group is demanding an apology from Bernie Landry for insensitive comments he made in a private meeting about child hunger in Québec. I'm trying to find a link to this story, but I haven't found it yet.
He was quoted as saying something like:
"I don't understand why children are going to school hungry. Birds have tiny brains and somehow they manage to feed their offspring properly."
Apparently, our fine-feathered friends have more in common with PQ leaders than previously believed.
Air Canada Jitters
I know, I know... Statistically, air travel is the safest way to move around. But I always get anxious when a loved one takes a plane to go anywhere.
Trains are so much more civilised. I'll be heading off to TO soon by train and I'm so looking forward to it. The chances of a nutbar hijacking a train to Cuba is that much slimmer.
"I said turn this train left. Left! Now! Cuba is that way, dammit! I hate taking the long way..."
I know, I know... Statistically, air travel is the safest way to move around. But I always get anxious when a loved one takes a plane to go anywhere.
Trains are so much more civilised. I'll be heading off to TO soon by train and I'm so looking forward to it. The chances of a nutbar hijacking a train to Cuba is that much slimmer.
"I said turn this train left. Left! Now! Cuba is that way, dammit! I hate taking the long way..."
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